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14 Oct '16

HELP!!! My Husband's Other Woman is a Three-Legged Cyclops!

Posted by Lanchi Vo

The problem is that they've been together for a very long time, long before he married me. So, I am not sure who has the "Right of Way" here.

Their relationship is a perfect one. They truly click. She has an eye only for him. She is dependable, patient, quiet and steadfast--all the traits men want from their woman. He can really see things from her perspective. He can read her mind, can push all the right buttons to make her happy--qualities that women yearn from their man. They share a deep passion for the great outdoors. They often travel together, camp together, hike together. She would sit on his lap every time they board an airplane. On cold nights, he would hug her close, so that her big, clear eye would not be all fogged up. When they come back from the beach, he would wash her multiple legs so that her joins would not feel creaky from all that salt water...

They savor every second spent together. He would head out with her at the crack of dawn, returning long after dark, leaving me waiting, worrying. Sometimes, I tag along, just to see what happen. That was a bad idea. At the end of the very loooong day, I would often find myself seething with resentment and green with envy, not to mention being tired, cold and hungry. With her by his side, he is oblivious to the people around him, me included. He is too busy focusing on her, capturing their sweet moments with her impeccable visual memory. I still remember vividly that time at Piazza del Duomo, Florence.  There was so much to see and to share, but my husband was dashing around, hugging his mistress, ignoring me completely.

I was down there, alone.  He was up there somewhere, with her!

And that trip was supposed to be our time together, not one of his rendezvous that I just happen to tag along! Seeing the tourists strolling hand in hand, talking, laughing, eating, enjoying their time together only exacerbated the situation. I felt so acutely the intrusion of this Cyclops into my marriage.

To date, I still don't know how to make it work for the three of us. At home, he is a sweet, devoted husband and father, a man without any vice (except for his infatuation with this Cyclops). At home, she knows her place and just stands quietly, unobtrusively in a corner. She is even useful sometimes, documenting our memorable moments with a couple blinks of her lone eye. Only when we go on a trip all together that tension ensues. Many times, I want to give my husband an ultimatum: leave her home on OUR family vacations. But I know he would be at a loss without her spongy tentacle wrapping around his neck. He would not know what to do with his empty hands. He would be so dejected and would miss her terribly. So, I conceded. My husband is more aware of the three-some problem now. He is trying his best to stay focused on us instead of running off with her when we are on the road. But her lure is strong.  Relapses happen. Just one wink from her, he'd be lost to me.  I'd find myself left alone with the kids on the hiking trails, desperately trying to deal with their complaints of heat, cold, boredom, fatigue, hunger etc...while he was enrapturing with her elsewhere.

Look at them!  Kissing under the cover!

They even had a love child together! My husband had been pregnant with that child for the past 20+ years (yes, that's what happen when you hitched a Cyclops, you carry the load; she gets to keep her slim figure). He recently gave birth to a chubby, 7+ lbs baby. What an exquisitely beautiful thing it is!

http://www.treasuredlandsbook.com

Looking at that child brings back fond memories of the time we share at some of the most beautiful spots on earth. Reluctantly, but I have to thank her for that. Without her insatiable thirst for a change of scenery, my husband--and thus, us--would not have ventured out to enjoy all that natural wonders. This child brings a redeeming quality to my husband's affair with the Cyclops, but it also ensures that she is here to stay. I guess I have to learn to accept this three-company. Only if she could also supervise the kids, cook and clean, then the situation would be much more tolerable.

So, please tell me what am I supposed to do?  Perhaps, the best solution is for me to start dating a Cyclops myself???


1 Comments

Lanchi, I love your post! AND I read it first on Q.T.‘s blog. You write so wonderfully about a REAL issue for significant others of photogs. Your image of the plaza in Firenze brought back memories of a “vacation” my former wife and I took through Europe. I with a new Nikon camera and lenses, and she with an expectant heart of what we would “share”. Me with my eye though the viewfinder so often – anxious to record the “memories”. It is a passion that in reality we share alone. I have seen it more than once on a trail where a couple has stopped while the husband is contorting himself and his “cyclops” mistress to enable the capture of a moment for memory, and the wife is waiting patiently but lonely while she wishes for some attention. It has convinced me of the strain that this can put on a relationship and only increased by the presence of children. I commend you for your forbearance and especially for allowing him to produce a “7 lb child” with his mistress. Because I have am enjoying this child immensely. So much so that I have provided clones of this child to 5 family members so they can also experience its’ wonder. Thank you again and to him also. And lest we forget the hard-working mistress – thanks to her also! ;)

Posted by Greg Rodgers on December 13, 2016

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